Tag Archives: Gwyneth Paltrow

The one where I go to yoga. By mistake.

Yesterday I went to yoga, by accident.  Until yesterday yoga was a cartoon bear who lived in Yellowstone Park (I think that’s YogI, but you get my drift?) I actually meant to go to Pilates, but there was a cock-up with the timetable and so having bothered to change into a gym kit and walk 15mins (this is a BIG DEAL alright?) there I thought I might as well ….Many moons ago I tried yoga – just the once and that was enough. The ‘experts’ made sure they were in the front row and seemed to be having a competition to see who could hold their poses for longest, or look most serene. Talk about showing off in front of teacher.  These people were in their fifties ffs.  I didn’t last long  before wanting to poke their eyes out.

Now, I thought it was time to give it another try seeing as I was here anyway.  These people looked normal, no dreadlocks and wearing no hemp clothing that I could discern……My first thought on walking in was ‘oh good – they’re lying down’, but this was different, oh so very different than the minimally tiring class I had envisaged, nay been hoping for.   For starters, I never knew you could get so hot by doing so little and, for the record, I’m ignoring those silly classes where they just seem to sit in an overheated room and sweat.  I mean how unhygiene is that – you wouldn’t take a shower or bathe with these people.  Who knows what’s coming out of those pores?!  Have you been on the London Underground.  Ew.  No thank you.  But I digress.

God was it hard work – and I whilst I didn’t embrace as enthusiastically as say, Gwyneth Paltrow –  or even the Dalai Lama –  might have done, I wasn’t *not* enjoying it.   I think that is what is called an unexpected result.

I slightly lost it at the end, just a bit, instead of listening to the outside noises, I was deciding whether a glass of wine when I got home would negate all that I had done in the past  hour (the answer to me, predictably – no).

Even better, as I stepped out of the building, a bus pulled up – the one that drops me at the end of my road.  I took that as a sign.   Thanks Gwynnie.  I may be back.